Calling Other Widows

It’s been almost eighteen months. All the progress I thought I made was out the window this week. I have been manic, depressed, and overwhelmed. Sleep has alluded me. Last night, I slept two and a half hours. I went to work and was laser focused. Completed my entire to-do list before lunch. By lunch, instant tears, at every shift in the wind…and we had high winds today.

I felt like I was falling apart. I had to call my friend who is also a widow. I cried and laughed and shared. I felt like I was crazy and regressing. I found out, I am not alone.

Grief sneaks up on you without any warnings. It will have you restless and lost. It will make you lose your appetite and concentration. It will make you manic and depressed. It will have you feeling lost and confused.

Do yourself a favor. Get some help. I am eighteen months in and moving on, but still here. Grieving as if I just found my husband taking his last breath. I still feel the pain and hurt. I still have an empty spot in my heart.

Grief is neverending 💔

I am sad and glad that I have other people taking this journey with me. I remember telling my friend that I didn’t wish this feeling on anyone. Today, I am glad I could call her and ask if what I was feeling was similar to what she was feeling. Today I was less alone in my journey.

Thank you to the other widows and people grieving, for your understanding. Forgive me if I am not myself.

I am not myself. Grief stole who I used to be and is forcing me to become someone new.