Blocked creativity

Every time I think I am healed and stronger, life kicks me in the tail. Then I lose all of my creativity and positivity. I revert back to fear, anxiety, and worry.

It is such a vicious cycle. I fight hard to keep it together, but WHOO. Baby it’s hard to keep the negative thoughts from festering.

I am thankful that God is my rock. Even when I don’t know what I am worried about, I am reminded to be faithful and to trust in Him.

We had a trip to Jamaica on the calender for almost a year. A week before, DT got so sick, but not from the normal symptoms. Sadly, we decided that I was going to take the trip without him. The week I returned he was scheduled for 2 emergency surgeries….all is well, but I was not.

As I am experiencing these internal mental battles, all creative energy is lost. I can’t think straight, I can't rationalize or process complex issues. I can do my typical routines, but anything more throws me.

I’ve tried to add different creative ideas to my life so that if I’m distracted so I can try to bounce between different skills. It doesn’t work when I am scared.

I am still a work in progress. If you don’t hear from me for a while, know that I am in survival mode where all creativity is blocked. Keep me in prayer. I appreciate it 🙏🏾