Who I show up as

In discovering, finding, and learning myself, I find that one of the things that I stand firm on is integrity…I have little respect or regard for people who throw stones and hide their hands.

I have no qualms about saying what I did and dealing with the consequences of that outcome.

I have a hard time with people who do not hold this same quality. I try to make sure people “stand on business” when they do something. I want everyone to stand firm on their rights, wrongs, and differences regardless of the outcome. I don’t like when people don't show integrity.

My younger years I always felt that I was not heard, seen, or believed. I was often accused of things that I didn't do by playing protector for my love ones so they wouldn’t get in trouble. I thought I was protecting my love ones, but I dealt with the consequences.

I tend to assert my point or opinion. I want to make sure my feelings are heard. I want to ensure that my reasons are known. I am oftentimes mistaken for aggressive, angry, or intimidating. Really I am just being the spokesperson for little Meka. I am the voice of the ignored and passed over child. I want everyone to know that I am willing to stand up and defend little Meka. I want everyone to know that little Meka has an opinion.

What I have recently learned though is that my passion can consume who I show up as. Passion: my tone, tongue, words, can be counterproductive of me showing up as someone that wants to be an advocate for others who aren't seen, hear, or believed.

I am learning to sit with my thoughts and watch my tongue.

Those who know me, understand me, but not everyone knows me and I have learned to represent myself as the person I needed when I was young 💖

I am learning to show up as the softer version of myself.