Just Keep Going

13 months ago, I was in my bed balled up in tears afraid of what and where I would be without my husband. I didn’t want to get out of bed, eat, or do anything. I couldn't’t sleep and was thankful that my body didn’t rely on me to breathe.

My husband was my rock and my rational compass. I didn’t think I would make it. Everyone left and I was alone. I cried, no I BALLED, myself to sleep every night. I finally got my energy up to return to work so I didn’t spend all day thinking about my pain and loss. I would come home exhausted and overwhelmed.

The days dragged into sleepless nights and exhausted mornings.

I decided that for our anniversary that next month I would take his ashes to San Diego…while there I decided I would visit my babies that stayed out of town. After visiting them, I decided I would travel for my birthday…then I decided I'd travel 50 days to celebrate my 50th because I knew that if he were still with me he would make it grandeur.

So here I am 13 months later in Alaska celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary.

I’d like to say I had an answer or a plan to make it through the days and the nights. I didn’t. I just kept going. I kept believing that God would guide me through each day and if that meant tears and toast for dinner, I accepted it and kept moving.

I am thankful that I can smile more than cry when I think of him. I am glad that I had him to teach me how to give and recieve love. I am glad that I learned to hold on and keep going.

Happy 25th anniversary and 1st year on my own. I made it. I didn’t think I would 🥹