Birthdays are the worst days

As my birthday approaches, I can feel my mood shifting. Sadness is engulfing my spirit. I just can't grasp that I am spending another birthday without DT. It hurts to my core. The tears have been flowing a lot.

I look back to the last year DT was here, I spent my birthday away from him. I have mixed feelings about that. It is the first year that we didn’t spend my birthday together. And then he died. So now I have to live with missing the opportunity to spend my last birthday with my love. Now I am admonished to spending the rest of my birthdays without him.

I really have to pull myself together and remember the great birthdays I had. I have to garner my gratitude and thank God for the years I had. I was blessed with a real one and I know it.

Birthdays without him just remind me of all that I had and how much I was loved.

Just know if you see me smiling on my birthday, it is taking everything I have not to cry.