Rage

When I can't cannulate 💉 my level of irritation and rage reaches the ultimate height. If I can't get both the arterial and venous to allow blood to flow in and out then no dialysis. No treatment. Poisonous blood continues to flow in my hubby's body. His feet swell, he gets sick...and I could set the world on fire. I usually cry. But I really feel destructive. I want to flip all this shit over. I want to hit something. I feel like I am failing my husband. I waste hours of my day preparing for another day spent doing dialysis. Did I tell you I am over home dialysis. Fin. Done. Cooked. Tired