There has been a pattern for several years that my husband is either sick or in the hospital on Easter. I forgot.

The Saturday before, he found out he could leave the rehab facility until midnight. As soon as he found out, I got the call…”come get me". Mind you I am a planner. Plan keeps me sane. He had just interrupted my entire days plans. I had to go for my walk, grocery shop, and clean the house…but nevertheless, I took my walk then made my way to pick him up.

He was excited. The sun was shining and as soon as I got him in the car he said he wanted to ride. I told him we needed to be back by 5 because my friends that I hadn’t hung out with in a while were coming over for drinks. He was mesmerized by the outside world as if he hadn’t been outside in years. Anyway, I took him on a three hour drive south of us…he was giddy remembering things we’d done at specific places. I was still thinking about how I could still get all the things I planned done. Then we stopped and got food…

He got really sick..really really sick..I had fo take him home and get him cleaned up and settled down. I cancelled my plans with the girls. We watched a movie and he ate.

I took him back to the rehab before the deadline and he kept apologizing for interrupting my plans. I told him not to worry about it and that I wasn’t mad. But I was kinda.

The next day was Easter. I got dressed and went to the rehab early. I was going to make up for my sour mood by riding and hanging out all Easter with him. I called to tell him to be ready and didn’t get a answer. I got to his room and there he was balled up sick. My heart sunk. I forgot that I can’t waste days being mad at him. I forgot that I have to cancel plans so that I can spend his “good" days with him. I forgot, that he is usually sick on Easter. I sat and talked to him while he lay there. Then I went to my car and cried for the longest. I couldn’t catch my breath. I was so ashamed and upset with myself. I called my daughter and my aunt to tell them what I’d done. They helped me pick myself back up…they comforted me and made me smile. My daughter reminded me that my hubby liked the dress I had on and called me “juicy” when I wore it. That memory made me smile…so I took a picture to show him on his good day. I put on my sunglasses to hide the tear stains and puffy eyes. I smiled and laughed thinking of his “juicy” comment…

2 things: enjoy the moment and find a reason to smile 😊💜