I am not the Tameka I once was. I don't know this new Tameka. I don't have confidence in her. I know nothing about her. She seems lost and confused. She makes me nervous.

I knew and loved the old Tameka for 49 years. She was my girl. I could trust her. I knew her motivation, I knew her strengths and weaknesses.

This Tameka is foreign to me. She can see everything we've been through but she isn’t strong enough to stand up and fight. She is needy and flighty. When things get rough, she is ready to pack up and go. I don't know if she can take care of Me. I am afraid of her. She is reckless and wild.

I don't wanna be this new Tameka. I miss old Tameka. She was my rock, but I watched her fall apart. It leaves me feeling empty and alone.

I just stand here. At a crossroads. Lost. I know I can't go back, but I am afraid of where I will end up next.