Closed in

I feel closed in most days. Trapped.

I am not sure why. I’ve pretty much relegated myself to my bedroom upstairs. I come home, close the blinds, get water, and head upstairs. I wake up, get ready for my day, go downstairs, open the blinds and leave. 😑

Downstairs reminds me of Darryl. The sickness, the dialysis, the laughs, and my loneliness. I just don’t wanna be in that space.

Everything reminds me of him. I really just want to sell everything and move far, far, away…like in the movies.

I am trying to give myself time, but I feel confined. I feel lost and inadequate in this new life. What am I supposed to do now?

Praying