Let it go

Sometimes 16 yr old Tameka won’t get out of my head.

Perfectionism, people pleasing (not wanting to disappoint), and shame drive me too far. I push myself to insane lengths to prove to teenage Tameka she is worthy. I am unrelenting, dogged, and unforgiving. I am so hard on myself.

I remember being motivated by the fact that people told me I couldn’t or wouldn’t do something. I drive myself with the same determination and tenacity on everything. I drive myself crazy. I bring myself to tears at the slightest inconvenience or “failure”.

I feel like a teenager still trying to prove herself. I have to let these feelings go…

Today I cried at the gym because I pushed myself and my hernia started hurting. I cried because I felt it a fault that I hurt…my body was simply telling me to slow down and I cried…because I felt defeated and that I am disappointing myself🤦🏾‍♀️

Give me strength…to accept that I am not superwoman