Grace

I’ve learned to give myself grace when I get anxious. I used to drive myself into alternating levels of anxiety and depression because I wasn’t behaving or reacting a specific way.

I am no longer trying to remain strong. I allow myself to do nothing. I used to spend so much time mentally chastising myself for not meeting some perceived goals or deadlines. I was / am so hard on myself sometimes.

I am learning to allow my body to rest. To allow my mind to shut down. I am learning to do nothing.

I giggled because I know and recognize now when I am not doing well. Tasks that take maybe ten or fifteen minutes takes me days (or weeks). It used to bother me so much. I used to force myself to “just get it done” and struggled with anxiety if I didn’t. But I’ve started to question why I put these binds on things. Unless it's completely necessary, it's okay to let things go. Nobody is going to die because I didn’t fold the towels. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I allow myself grace and mercy. No one is ever prepared for their loved one to be sick so long at such a young age. I am doing the best I can. He is happy and knows he’s loved. That's the most important thing to me right now. So I allow myself to take two weeks to do something I could finish in thirty minutes and I’m okay with it 💜