I have been keeping myself busy throughout the day to avoid being home alone and being in my head.

This weekend I went out. Someone commented on my wedding ring. They asked me where my husband was. It took my breath away. The tears instantly welled up in my eyes. I repled that he was not there. This made me wonder if Widows are still supposed to wear their weddings rings.

There is no “to do and what not to do” list for Widows and Widowers. I don't know if it is natural to continue to wear my ring. I wear Darryl's wedding ring on his necklace around my neck. It brings me comfort. I often twirl his ring around my finger when I miss talking to him and hold conversations with him in my head. It helps keep the tears at bay.

The problem is that I don’t know the process for being a Widow. I still have some of his clothes that I just can’t let go of. I sometimes wear his cologne. I avoid the couch where he sat to do dialysis. I still cry everyday. I don’t know if I am crazy or if this is normal. What’s the process? I am a process person. What’s the protocol? Who has the list of what I should and should not be doing?