This journey has been extremely enlightening. I notice my growth and reflect on my errors almost daily. I have formed a new habit of starting my day by setting my first WINS…so that the outside negativity isn’t the first thing that I hear and it doesn’t set my mood. I do 15 minutes of affirmations, then 15 minutes of positivity via old gospel songs that I enjoy…then I throw on a couple trap songs that incorporate great I AM statements. Baby by the time my day starts I am smiling ear to ear.

Reflecting back I am thankful for the husband that God gave me. We literally met by accident. On the corner. He was leaving the gym, I was headed to the club. We ended up being hanging buddies who turned into best friends. I have literally been with him more years than I have been without him. He told me he wanted to show me the world and he tried his damnedest to do that. First trip was Niagara Falls, because I told him I loved water…then Chicago, Lake Michigan. That’s where I realized I’d fallen in love with him. Our last big trip was Hawaii. He was sick as a dog almost the entire way, but he told me that he promised to get me there. We hit 4 islands. After we returned home he was diagnosed with renal kidney failure and has been on dialysis ever since.

That’s when I finally had to grow up. I have used these past two years to learn how to pay bills (he always took care of that). Keep the house in order(I never did that). and raise these kids (I only spoiled them) LOL.

We still managed to travel. I just learned how to do his dialysis at home, so that we had the opportunity to be flexible with our lives. He was a sailor, I am his soldier. We are still fighting. Some days I feel so defeated, but I think of how far we have come and how much we have accomplished and I don’t give up. He did a good job with me. My mama says that they don’t know how I would have been without him…even more of a hot head. He is my calming voice. He’s had a helluva task in keeping me calm LOL.

I told my daughter that if he passes away before me, I am taking a sabbatical somewhere. I said Paraguay or Bali…I will definitely need to learn who Tameka is without Darryl. The thought scares me. So I just keep fighting to keep my Darryl with me.