I don’t think anyone realizes how hard it is to be happy. Somedays it's a fight. I literally look in the mirror and will myself to smile. I give others the biggest brightest smile that I can manage, just in case they too are fighting to be happy.

I don’t wish this level of sadness and uncertainty on anyone. I pray for my children. I wish my grandkids got to experience my husband at his fullest as a grandfather. He is an amazing father. All of our kids are spoiled and loved by my husband.

I am overwhelmed and overdue for a full breakdown, but I am hanging on and trusting the process. I am smiling through it though.